So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
What did we do last night that was yellow?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
