idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
