I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
