you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
