Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
