I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
