That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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