So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
