the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i out mim tonsoeep
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