i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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