I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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