Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
