dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
