Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Your cock deserves a montage
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
