So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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