so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize