just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
