Jerry, you need to find god
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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