is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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