i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
