WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
soo... how was my night?
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