the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
