I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
