My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize