Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
