so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
