it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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