so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
