Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
