Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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