Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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