Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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