I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
