so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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