i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
