Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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