So drunk its hurt
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
