The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Boobs speak an international language.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
