with your own penis?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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