I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
