ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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