every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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