Im at strip club and am horny
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
