Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
