she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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