I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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