i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
