I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
