Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
