i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm bleeding and have questions
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize