Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
