I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
