So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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