would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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