end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
there is glitter all over my balls
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize