You're so nebulous sometimes
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
