You can't special order awesome
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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