Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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