C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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