it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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