We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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