well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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