Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize