Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
