All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
