what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Panties = found
Randomize
