Welp...herpes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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